the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
