At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
