And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
