yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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