I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
