Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
