some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My balls are so social today.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
