Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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