Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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