that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
