that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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