He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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