the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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