I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
