The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
