Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
