I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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