I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
