She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
