Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
