awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
