i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
