Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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