I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
only if we run a train.
done.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
