he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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