its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
