who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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