she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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