Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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