She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
