just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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