You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
