I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He passed out mid-signature
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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