Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
