the day after is always just damage control
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
