he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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