I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
worst night to have a conscience
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
