I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
