Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
