Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
