my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
last night I used snow as a chaser
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
