so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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