am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
