you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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