so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
