Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
