her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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