Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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