Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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