dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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