i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
