Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
