How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize