yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You left your phone here
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