You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
