Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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