physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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