She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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