My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
