is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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