Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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