So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
