You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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