I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize