my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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