Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
