i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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