These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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