she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
