i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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