Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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