I'm really into asian looking animals
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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